Sunday, 21 April 2013

Manhunt in Boston


Have you seen the television show called “Mantracker”? It’s a game show where two contestants travel cross-country by foot, while tracked by two men on horseback. The contestants’ goal is to reach the prize before they’re hunted down. I haven’t watched a whole episode because when I tried, all I could think of is the way white men used to hunt black families who dashed through the woods, trying to escape the prison of slavery. With guns and dogs the slave “owners” would track down human beings like prey, merciless in their greedy pursuit. 

Strangely, some of the response to last week's horrific bombing reminded me of these hunting stories. Before tears of lament could even dampen the streets of Boston, the lust for revenge welled up like a flood. 
“Who did this? Get them!” The American President assured that the perpetrators would "feel the full weight of justice".
A real time manhunt began, a hunt that took on undertones of both a televised game and slavery's xenophobic hatred. I wondered about this reaction to such a sad event as the marathon attack. 

Like buzzing wasps, mass media swarmed in their race for the scoop, “How do you feel? Here, talk into the mic. How do you feel? (not that I care, but I really want a sound bite)."  And millions of us watched.

I flipped from one news channel to another, transfixed by the phenomenon of reporters who had to keep talking when there was nothing new to say. They dutifully filled the hours by repeating the few known facts, accompanied by the same ghastly videos looping over and over. The commentators seemed like ventriloquists' dummies, animated by their profit-hungry bosses. Media competition was so excessive that even an entertainment reporter expressed shame at the behaviour. 

Mid-week, new tragedy in small-town Texas interrupted the Boston story. In a much bigger explosion, fourteen people had died, and many others were injured. With no iconic terrorists or drawn guns, out there in the middle of nowhere, media refocussed on the manhunt in Boston. It was more exciting to watch the chase. Had they found the bombers yet? Grieving Texans got short shrift

It wasn’t only media caught in the frenzy. One police spokesperson was so aroused by the hunt that at the victorious press conference he mentioned confidential evidence that made one security expert gasp in surprise. Adrenalin had trumped the officer's professional discretion.

Fans of the winning team cheered and waved flags as the armoured cars pulled off the playing field of Watertown.They might as well have chanted, “We’re number one!” 
Are we glad then, that a 26 year old was shot to death? Really? Wouldn't a saddened silence have been more appropriate? Did the unprecedented actions by law enforcement who locked down a whole town, ease the heart of bombing victims like poor William Richard? His 8 yr. old son was killed, his 6 yr. old daughter permanently maimed, and his wife brain-injured. Unspeakable grief. 

Who doesn't want to turn away from such senseless suffering and celebrate a win instead?

The problem is that we despise painful feelings that spotlight our helplessness; instead, we revere power and control. Because anger inflates our self-righteous pecs, whereas grief turns us into helpless weepers, we choose anger. We become haters in the blink of an eye, looking for scapegoats to bear our unbearable pain. In fact, that may be why the possibility of a Someone infinitely greater than humanity is unthinkable to many. We don’t want to admit dependence on Someone we can neither understand nor control.

Sadly, the dark side of American patriotism foments callousness toward the "other". As long as prideful arrogance is honoured, peace will never reign. Even respected Christian writer Philip Yancey, in his blog response to the Boston tragedy, can’t seem to get over his sense of American superiority  
How often do the rest of us hear Americans boasting that theirs is “the greatest country in the world”? Admittedly, such nonsense has infected Canada, too, where I scoff every time a politician calls ours the best country in the world. I yell at the screen, ”How would you know?! And what does ‘best’ even mean?” In fact, such arrogance is global, though gratingly hypocritical from a self-proclaimed "Christian" country.

O, Source of all that is good, in Your patience, show us that flexing vengeful muscles is fruitless, only a distraction from our painful inadequacy.
O, God of the galaxies, give us the courage to lament loud and long over human evil, including our own. Help us to recognize both societal injustices and our own judgemental hearts. Heal us and motivate us by Your invincible, forgiving love. Amen.  





Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Still One-Handed

The novelty has worn off and the latest cast on my fractured wrist is heavy. These days it takes more effort to light candles instead of cursing the darkness, but bright little flames keep appearing anyway.

A librarian noticed my injury and watched me with concern as I operated the automatic check-out for my ten books, one at a time. She stood near silently and finally asked, “Are you okay?” It felt comforting to know help was close by if I needed it.

At the mall, after awkwardly juggling a quarter out of my wallet and into the wrong shopping cart slot, I couldn't get it back out to make the necessary switch. Frustration. With only one useful arm, I couldn’t cope with a basket for the few items on my list and needed the cursed cart that was chained to twenty others. As another customer came though the supermarket door, I asked for help.  Managing to fish out my coin, she handed it to me and then, instead of rushing away, pulled the freed cart out of its corral, asked twice if I could manage, and held the swinging barrier open, wishing me “Good luck”.  

On two occasions I was glad that two different friends offered their services as chauffeur. I feel more vulnerable driving with a wounded wing, so I appreciated the rides, one to a local Afro-centric concert, the other to a downtown meeting. 

Other friends have recently surprised me with flowers and homemade food, including a delicious vegetarian nut loaf with mushroom gravy, time-consuming to concoct, I’m sure.

One cranky day I went to my iTunes files to hear some inspiring music and found that my husband had downloaded a gift from our daughters. They had transferred some of our favourite old record albums to whatever that thing is called that you can plug into your computer for downloading (duh). It cheered me up to hear “The Roar of Love” by 2nd Chapter of Acts, 1978. 

 Another time, the woman checking out behind me at a “pack your own bag” grocery store was gracious. I apologised for taking so long to finish my one-handed packing and get out of her way, but she answered with, “No problem - take your time”. What a relief.

Such goodness there is in the human heart – compassion, patience, kindness.
Such good examples for me.

These strangers, friends and family made it easier to follow the wise advice,
“Whatever is true, or honourable, 
whatever is just, pure, or lovely, 
if there is virtue or a reason to praise,
focus on these things.” (Philippians 4:8)

Sunday, 24 March 2013

You Never Know

What can I type with one hand while my left wrist is in a cast. 
this will be short, that’s for sure, with capital letters only when word automatically inserts them and no upper case punctuation like question marks. 
Ha. always happy to have an excuse to break the rules or be lazy.

yesterday I slipped on the stairs I use a dozen times a day and broke a bone. surprizingly good experience in er, and the fracture clinic today. Mostly cheerful staff and shorter waits than expected so no complaints.  

such fascinating places hospitals are.

A woman my age slept on a stretcher in the hall where the rest of us were waiting our turns to be seen. She was snoring up a storm. When she was woken to be told that her tests were fine and that she could leave, she sat up and chatted with me for a while. Realising she’d been asleep for two hours, she grinned at me, “my husband says I’m a terrible snorer.” I smiled back and said, “probably we all are, but we don’t have to listen to ourselves”- a friendly conversation between strangers passed a few more minutes until she walked away, relieved that her sudden dizziness at work hadn’t been caused by anything that showed up in her scary emergency cat scan.

Overheard a doctor telling a very young, maybe teenage, couple on the other side of the flimsy curtain between their space and mine that the 3 mo-old foetus in her womb had a very slow heartbeat and was unlikely to survive.  
Cringed. 
Held my breath. 
Kept silent to give them the illusion of privacy. 
Prayed for these poor young ones, and for the young doctor who spoke calmly but more quickly than seemed right when one is predicting the death of an unborn child. After the doctor left I heard the guy murmuring consolation to his partner. I was glad that he was tender and kind instead of stoically silent. Watched them walk out of the er area and wondered how they could still stand. 

May we be given the strength and compassion we need to walk each other through whatever happens tomorrow.

Thursday, 28 February 2013

February Felicity

Wake up to a new snowfall, heavy with moisture, coating every tiny twig of city trees with white icing.  In this moment, relish the beauty before it melts again into messy slush. Ride through the day with wonder.

Gear up for more basement renovation. Put on thick old running shoes to shield against spiky carpet tacks.  Wear a face-mask to filter out filthy, flying dust from the old carpet.  Smile at the memory of Ephesians 6, “armour of God” and  “feet shod with the good news of peace”. Savour the metaphor.

Welcome the plumber who’s plugging an old floor drain.  Ignore the unexpected cost and mess. Share the joy of grandchildren.

Honour a Christmas amaryllis bulb that has persisted in its slow journey into two tall, rigid, lime-green stems and seven huge trumpet blossoms striped scarlet and cream. The ridiculous miracle blares testimony like a streetcorner preacher.

Enjoy soup in a corner Grill. Five women and a baby girl escape the cringing cold winter evening – bowls of egg drop, wontons, mushrooms – casual conversation about prayer. 

Deal with someone's belligerent defensiveness. Rant to friends, analyse, read wise texts, sit in silence. Be surprised by peace and new perspective. Some boundaries are necessary; others can be dismantled. When Love wins, no one loses.

Settle into the wooden pew of a gaudy, yellow brick sanctuary. Eyes closed, listen to soulful acoustic-electric guitar in a minor key. Give thanks for wine and bread. Muse on sacrifice and community, past and present, divine and human.

Sink into a soft bed, relaxing muscles, sighing out tension. Give thanks for comfort and safety. Pray for those without. Leave tomorrow to itself.

Saturday, 16 February 2013

Weird. I'm giving up Lent for Lent


 I grew up in a bare bones church, as puritan as they come. 
Although we celebrated communion every week and held occasional dramatic baptisms by immersion, there were no other mystical rituals. Our worship focussed on the written word, read, spoken, prayed, sung and preached. Nature, the human body, and the arts were mostly ignored. Even as a little girl, my starved imagination yearned toward those exotic Catholic churches with their red glass candle-holders and spooky statues. 

In adulthood, I converted to feminism, so I was not tempted by the Roman rite, but found, instead, a home in Anglican worship. There is comfort, both physical and spiritual, in the routines of kneeling on special benches, reciting unison responses, and standing to honour the Gospel reading. Community and meaning are heightened by these actions. Traditional church seasons like Advent, Pentecost, and Lent enrich the intangible sense of connection with generations long gone. 
I enjoy attending services where the Holy Spirit candle hangs glowing from the rafters, the strong smell of incense fills the air and tiny bells chime. Some congregants bow and cross themselves. There can be a shivery feeling of reverence.

Although Christian faith respects the intellect as God-given, life's humbling experiences teach us to submit to Mystery, even as our confidence in a loving Creator can deepen. In contrast to systematic theologies, the strange rituals of praxis mirror the "otherness" of the One we call God. These suprarational alternatives can feed our spirit when preaching and study group analysis dissipate joy.

But then there’s that priest who played soulful music, bowed low to painted icons, and incensed enthusiastically in the moody, darkened sanctuary right up until the day he ditched his wife and disappeared with the church secretary.

Well, now. 

On the other hand...
sometimes our sensual delight in ritual becomes itself an idol. Delicious aesthetics trump private disciplines of confession and self-denial. Personally, I’d way rather walk around with oily ashes on my forehead than give a welcoming smile to someone who’s interrupting my day's agenda. Let me light another candle instead of trying to listen patiently to that droning committee colleague. 

Don’t misunderstand; I could not denigrate inspired devices like icons or labyrinth walking. They are sacred to me. 
However, this year I surprised myself by skipping the Ash Wednesday service. I have no plans for 40 days of ritualistic abstinence. So far, I’m reading the bible book of 1 John, caulking gaps around the new basement ceiling, and trusting that the Holy Spirit of God will continue Her merciful, catch-you-off-guard tutorial.

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Happy Valentine's Day!

No matter [what], 
if I have no love in me, 
I am nothing.
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy.
Love does not boast.
Love is not proud.
Love does not dishonour others.
Love is not self-seeking.
Love is not easily angered.
Love keeps no records of wrong.
Love does not delight in evil, 
but rejoices with the truth.
Love always protects.
Love always trusts.
Love always hopes
Love always perseveres.

On Valentine's Day, and every day, may you live in God's love!



Sunday, 3 February 2013

Happy Sights and a Puzzle

Stopped at a red light, I watched a troop of school children, bundled in parkas, cross the street, hunched against the blowing snow, each one carrying a pair of skates. Classic Canadiana made me smile.

On another winter day while driving north I noticed a scene worth painting. In the distance stood a grove of leafless saplings backed by a darkening grey sky. In the foreground, the low winter sun behind me was spotlighting one small oak tree, its raggedy bronze leaves bravely waving. Beautiful.

At a stop sign I waited for a woman to cross on a windy day and had to laugh out loud. She had no idea that her thickly wrapped ponytail was being blown from behind up into a curve over her head so that she looked like a unicorn in the gusty gale. 

On my way to the car after shopping, I was scanning the sky over the grocery store parking lot. Where two power lines were strung, one just above the other, two rows of birds huddled together, crowded so tightly that the lower tier seemed to be ducking their heads. They looked like football fans in a sold-out stadium. Made me grin.

Meeting my brother for lunch at an unfamiliar mall I enter the nearest door and found myself in one of those clothing stores designed for teenage girls without much money. I had to walk right through to get to the mall hallway and it felt like I was in a spring garden. Displayed on the walls were peach-coloured shirts overlaid with jewelled netting and lime green leggings splashed with red roses. Racks held orange jeans, lavender skirts and turquoise underwear embroidered with daisies. Shelves offered sparkling silver lame running shoes and bright yellow purses. As long as I didn’t think of sweatshops and landfills, it was surprisingly pretty.

One chilly day I walked past a tiny toddler padded from top to bottom in a blue plaid snowsuit shuffling her way across the daycare playground, to join her friends lining up at the door. She looked like a baby robot. Just darling.

Early on a cold February Sunday, the sun was up, the air still, the neighbourhood quiet. I heard sparrows and a cardinal singing gaily and wondered, how do birds’ scrawny little feet not freeze solid and drop off overnight? Call it Nature or call it Creation, it’s a miracle to me.